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How To Explain The Concept of Cremation To Children
The most important thing related to explaining is that it must be both sensitive and simple-both the sensitivity and simplicity depend on the developmental level of the child. Psychologically, one has to tell them things in a way that seems suitable to their age, reassuring, and makes sense in the child's world.
Communicating with under 7 year old children must be done with concrete and easy words-
You would say that "once a loved one dies, the body is not alive anymore, but their memory lives on and the love we have for them also remains. We have a gentle way of turning the body to ashes-just like the wood that we placed in the fire turns into small pieces of ash. The ashes are put inside a special canister called cremation urn which keeps the memory of the person inside."
More importance should be given to this concept as opposed to the actual process of it. Sometimes for the young ones, it's more comforting to hold the thought of love and memory rather than specifics related to death itself.
For older kids like in the 7 to 12 years old range- you can give a bit more detail while still being gentle.
You can say, "Cremation is what you do to the body after the person's died. The body burns inside this kind of special fire that'll turn it into ashes. The ashes put inside a container which can be taken anywhere-is placed in a special spot in your home or in your garden.
This way, families are able to remember and celebrate their loved ones. It's okay to feel sad or confused, and so talk about your feelings to someone you can trust."
Older adolescents, that is, 13 years old and above, may understand more complex explanations and also take an interest in learning how the process works and what this may mean.
You can say, "Cremation is the process which happens after death; the body burns and becomes ash. It is a method that people prefer for many different reasons, personal or cultural and for environmental reasons. The ash is usually put in an urn or scattered in a special place that was special to the one passed on. This process stirs up so many of peoples' feelings, and talking with family, friends, or even a counselor can be helpful."
Psychologically, any child is capable, at one time or another in the process, to feel some degree of confusion, fear and/or sadness and then must have those feelings validated and permitted leeway to articulate freely in order to be able to explain the situation to that child in the most basic terms possible without misrepresentation of facts.
Therefore, with comfort and reassurance coupled with clear honest information, it is supportive of their emotional well being and enables them to stay meaningfully connected to memories of the loved one.
Why is it important to talk about cremation with children?
Explain to the kids how cremation takes place as this is one process through which they are simply educated and understand death honestly. Proper information without knowledge might add myths or terrorism to images of a dying person. It can help reduce the fears if the proper age children are made aware of the cremation process.
Conversations regarding cremation help children emotionally cope with the situation. Children are also made part of the grieving process since such discussions tell them the procedures applied to the human body of the deceased when choosing to have them cremated. They are much better able to handle their own emotions about the situation.
Such discussion also opens channels for the children to say whatever they want and ask whichever questions they will have, thus establishing a platform that nurtures their grief.
Finally, discussing cremation would introduce to them the sensitivity involved in the discussion of death and funerals, and these may become integral parts of their emotional and psychological growth. This enables them to realize that it is okay to discuss subjects labeled as 'taboo' and seek help so that they develop resistance to adversity and good emotional health.
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